BOOKS & LITERATURE

The classic guide for dealing with grief and loss

For those who have suffered the loss of a loved one, here are thoughtful words to strengthen, inspire and comfort. 

In *It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new  approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help  others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both  sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental  drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the  unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally  prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it  with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life  alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling  and heartful book, you’ll learn:
 

• Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief
 • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages,  timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows  us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to  solve
• Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to “fix” your pain
 • How to help the people you love—with essays to teach us the best  skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others  through the grieving process
 

Many people who have suffered a  loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants  to “solve” grief. Megan writes, “Grief no more needs a solution than  love needs a solution.” Through stories, research, life tips, and  creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide  through an experience we all must face—in our personal lives, in the  lives of those we love, and in the wider world.
 

It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.

Inspired by the website that the New York Times  hailed as "redefining mourning," this book is a fresh and irreverent  examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social  media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss  through candid original essays from a variety of voices, accompanied by  gorgeous two-color illustrations and wry infographics.

At a time  when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where  intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday  reminders for dead friends, it’s clear we are navigating new terrain  without a road map.

Let’s face it: most of us have always had a  difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We’re awkward  and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we  offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit.

Enter  Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, who can help us do better. Each  having lost parents as young adults, they co-founded Modern Loss,  responding to a need to change the dialogue around the messy experience  of grief. Now, in this wise and often funny book, they offer the  insights of the Modern Loss community to help us cry, laugh, grieve,  identify, and—above all—empathize.

Soffer and Birkner, along with  forty guest contributors including Lucy Kalanithi, singer Amanda Palmer,  and CNN’s Brian Stelter, reveal their own stories on a wide range of  topics including triggers, sex, secrets, and inheritance. Accompanied by  beautiful hand-drawn illustrations and witty "how to" cartoons, each  contribution provides a unique perspective on loss as well as a  remarkable life-affirming message.

Brutally honest and inspiring, *Modern Loss  invites us to talk intimately and humorously about grief, helping us  confront the humanity (and mortality) we all share. Beginners welcome. 

After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that  she and her children would never feel pure joy again. “I was in ‘the  void,’” she writes, “a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs  and restricts your ability to think or even breathe.” Her friend Adam  Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, told her there are concrete steps  people can take to recover and rebound from life-shattering experiences.  We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that  everyone can build. 

*Option B combines Sheryl’s personal  insights with Adam’s eye-opening research on finding strength in the  face of adversity. Beginning with the gut-wrenching moment when she  finds her husband, Dave Goldberg, collapsed on a gym floor, Sheryl opens  up her heart—and her journal—to describe the acute grief and isolation  she felt in the wake of his death. But Option B goes beyond  Sheryl’s loss to explore how a broad range of people have overcome  hardships including illness, job loss, sexual assault, natural  disasters, and the violence of war. Their stories reveal the capacity of  the human spirit to persevere . . . and to rediscover joy.

Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Even  after the most devastating events, it is possible to grow by finding  deeper meaning and gaining greater appreciation in our lives. Option B illuminates  how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise  strong children, and create resilient families, communities, and  workplaces. Many of these lessons can be applied to everyday struggles,  allowing us to brave whatever lies ahead. Two weeks after losing her  husband, Sheryl was preparing for a father-child activity. “I want  Dave,” she cried. Her friend replied, “Option A is not available,” and  then promised to help her make the most of Option B.

We all live some form of Option B. This book will help us all make the most of it.

*The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Re-imagine Life weaves  together contemporary thinking on grief, adaptation, resiliency and  post-traumatic growth with the true story of seven men who joined a  support group for widowed parents. Disoriented and devastated by his  loss, none was enthusiastic about the idea of sharing the most painful  chapter of his life with complete strangers. But the men connected  almost immediately, and over the next several years forged a deep bond  as monthly meetings evolved into a forum for healing and personal  reinvention that transformed them in unexpected ways.

The  authors, Donald L Rosenstein and Justin M. Yopp , co-led the support group and partnered with the men to write  their story, which is interspersed with the latest in bereavement  research conveyed in an easily relatable way. The fathers' touching  efforts to care for themselves, their families, and each other offers a  gripping narrative that shows how each of us has the potential to rebuild new and meaningful lives.

Powerful, enlightening and hopeful, The Group helps readers make sense of grief and inspires them to reimagine their lives moving forward.

Noted psychotherapist Francis Weller provides an essential guide for  navigating the deep waters of sorrow and loss in this lyrical yet  practical handbook for mastering the art of grieving. Describing how  Western patterns of amnesia and anesthesia affect our capacity to cope  with personal and collective sorrows, Weller reveals the new vitality we  may encounter when we welcome, rather than fear, the pain of loss.  Through moving personal stories, poetry, and insightful reflections he  leads us into the central energy of sorrow, and to the profound healing  and heightened communion with each other and our planet that reside  alongside it.

*The Wild Edge of Sorrow explains that grief  has always been communal and illustrates how we need the healing touch  of others, an atmosphere of compassion, and the comfort of ritual in  order to fully metabolize our grief. Weller describes how we often hide  our pain from the world, wrapping it in a secret mantle of shame. This  causes sorrow to linger unexpressed in our bodies, weighing us down and  pulling us into the territory of depression and death. We have come to  fear grief and feel too alone to face an encounter with the powerful  energies of sorrow. 

Those who work with people in grief, who  have experienced the loss of a loved one, who mourn the ongoing  destruction of our planet, or who suffer the accumulated traumas of a  lifetime will appreciate the discussion of obstacles to successful grief  work such as privatized pain, lack of communal rituals, a pervasive  feeling of fear, and a culturally restrictive range of emotion. Weller  highlights the intimate bond between grief and gratitude, sorrow and  intimacy. In addition to showing us that the greatest gifts are often  hidden in the things we avoid, he offers powerful tools and rituals and a  list of resources to help us transform grief into a force that allows  us to live and love more fully.

In this remarkably useful guide, widow, author, and therapist Genevieve  Davis Ginsburg offers fellow widows--as well as their family and  friends--sage advice for coping with the loss of a husband. From  learning to travel and eat alone to creating new routines to surviving  the holidays and anniversaries that reopen emotional wounds, Ginsburg  give guidance on:

• Dealing with anger and guilt
• Maintaining family relationships
• Dating after widowhood
• Handling money
• Responding to others' support
• And more

*Widow to Widow walks readers through the challenges of widowhood and encourages them on their path to building a new life.

This unique and sensitive grief journal allows readers to catch — and hold — an angel: Over the past decade, this classic work has helped thousands find meaningful ways to overcome the despair of losing a loved one. Now, Angel Catcher has been revised and updated to convey its powerful message of hope to a new audience. 

In Second Firsts, Rasmussen walks you  through her Life Reentry® process to help you break grief’s spiral of  pain, so you can stop simply surviving and begin to live again. She  shows you that loss can actually be a powerful catalyst to creating a  life that is in alignment with your true passions and values. The  resilience, strength, and determination that have gotten you through  this difficult time are the same characteristics that will help you  craft your wonderful new life. 

Singing Beyond Sorrow is Carole Downing’s story of finding a way to  embrace life after the unexpected and unimaginable death of her husband  from cancer. Written in a journal style, the book chronicles her ups and  downs, the “firsts” without her husband, the parenting of their  six-year-old son, and the sometimes tragic, sometimes funny, conflicts  between a young widow picking up the pieces of her life and a world that  would rather close its eyes to death and bereavement.